a rainy season in my soul

A wet pillow
My heart pours out
Waters of my soul,
displaced
by this empty space
a longing for you

I cherish a few small lines of one of Iona's songs...a mostly instrumental song (for music often conveys what words cannot capture, right? Words can be too solid, too hard, too--i don't know?-- blatant--concrete--crushing--do you know what I mean?) Anyway, these few words do hit the mark in the middle of this beautiful song. Here's the lines I especially love and often sing

"An emptiness for you to fill
My soul, a cavern for your sea"

Oh, but to hear it is so much better--wow, the power of music! Here's the full lyrics to the song...if you can find it and listen to it, much better!

faith

So I'm shaking dust off these dry roots

Digging into the well, deeper

stretching to taste

The once familiar.

Starting to stregthen the feeble legs, weak knees

so what's lame might not be put out of joint, but healed'

I'm working my artistic muscles, but oh, it's coming so slow

Every poem
Every artistic canvas
Every movement, song, service

An act of faith

Faith ...
That I’m not the only one
With legs like stone
Heart of glass

That weakness exposed

leads to strength

That I’m not speaking to shadows
Not holding a mirror to myself alone

Faith ...
That one word can MOVE
can move a mountain

spark flames
cool a burn

Faith...
That an image can enter the soul
Not just the eye
And like a seed, grow

A new image, a new song
like a daughter,

a son

I’m a garden
Sown from many hands
Many do not know
Have never seen the things growing here

Never knew the resting place for their scattered seed

I'm a part of their promised land

Faith...

that I might be a hand to plant,

a seed carried on the wind
In Him, and through Him, and for Him
Every good and perfect gift is from Him

the First Word

theFirst Seed

Jesus, image of the invisible

the same, yesterday, today and forever

No shadow of turning in Him

I turn

I waver

I change in varying degrees of heat,

of pressure

All I am is nothing special

no different from another plain vessel

Let your seed remain the same

So get going, soul, create! See beyong the white of screen

the empty paper

Fill with drops of soul

Line with whispers of eternity

Call to simplicity

To you who know
what it is to
Think like a tangled vine

Choking life trying to rise
What it is to hurry

to analyze

and live inside a maze
Crushing seedlings
Trampling
On fertile ground
--It’s not time to run
Not time to uproot again

Pour water
Wait beneath the Sun
In it’s light
We become light,

and shed weight of

fleshly shell encasing

Able to push through debris

unfold new leaves

Arms spreading wide
Like a child

Hope

Here I am, reading Mark 8—Four Thousand Fed.

And I can hear You whispering, “How many loaves do you have?”

And I reply, “Hardly a thing.”

And You say nothing, but hold out hands for what I have—ALL I have.

I don’t hear words I would expect—don’t hear the words that whisper in my mind.

And I see now that I’ve been hesitating here far too long. Saying within myself, “How can I give them anything—I must go find some more, something else—I must be the wrong person—well, I don’t have as much as so-and-so.” And on and on like that…

All the while you stand with hands outstretched ready to receive, bless, multiply. No comment on my meager store, no flattering words so I will feel like more. You know I speak rightly.

It’s not within me to multiply.

Still you smile—you see an end that I cannot even imagine.

And I see hope now--When I give it all over, no matter how little, You will make it not only enough, but basket loads more.

June 20, 2009
A loaf of bread
Drying out
In passing of sun
Hardening under heat
All I am
All I can spare to give?
A crumb or two
I cannot feed even myself, even my own
But I offer all to your hand
You will multiply
You will make me enough

Morning Nature Walk : Keeping Our Eyes Open

I have this itch
At my heels
Night and day
Move
Do
Go
But I’m marble
Needing breath of life
Whisper your spell over my smooth, cold stone
Bring warmth by your sunlit touch
Stay
Cut away this weight of rock

A Rainy List

So it's been raining for the past week. Can't say enough how much I enjoy this weather. The list is growing longer by the day.

1. hush of rain on leaves
2. tap of rain on metal canopy
3. puddle splashes
4. gutter waterfalls
5. birdsongs and rain mixing together
6. cool temperatures
7. rainy morning run with Mako
8. forest carpet of damp pine needles
9. open windows
10. Rainy day hike with kids and dog
11. Zach announcing the first task of the adventure--assigning nicknames to everyone: Ed--Zach, Lu--Sierra, Reep--Savannah, Caspian--Me, and Make--Mako
12. peace while getting things done
13. shiny leaves that looked liked giant raindrops
14. a wonderful memory come back to me: of 'painting' the rainy screen doors & windows, fingers finding rain drops and spreading them across tiny screen squares, each a little window reflecting the colors of the outside world--like tiny, glassy puddles. I can't help but smile. God, help me to remain a child.